Open letter to a friend who lost someone

There have been enough letters, calls, texts, hugs and little cards on flower arrangements to last you a lifetime.

I know those messages will keep appearing every time another person recognizes the hole in your life that this loss has left you with. Death is unfathomable, especially when it strikes someone with an unfinished life. Experiencing it makes you feel like you did as a child first standing in front of the ocean. Never being able to speak to, see or hold another person is an unrecognizable thought. We spend our whole lives ignoring the potential of that reality until it confronts us.

How could it? You know these things happen, but they happen to other people, right? You watch the actor plan funeral arrangements, go through old photos and hug your teary-eyed friends and family. It steals memories, moments and expectations we spend our entire lives compiling neatly in our minds for safe keeping, only to find out they were never really safe at all. It steals wedding dances, graduation seats, much-needed advice, perfectly timed laughter, warm hugs and arms wrapped around new babies who deserve to meet their whole families.

It can steal everything. Death can take an unfinished life and make it finished. There are so many unanswered questions about why bad things happen to good people.

There are a plethora of feelings and emotions to work through, and often the scars of those battles never really go away. I want you to know I understand that. Everyone who loves you understands that.

And no matter how much time passes, any way you feel is justified and meaningful. You can be mad. I want you to know that you deserve no guilt or regrets. You did everything you were supposed to do, and the unthinkable happened. The impossible became possible. There is no blame to be dealt. There is no war to be won. Peace is the only medicine, and it comes in waves. There will always be good days and bad days.

By I, I mean your friends, family and every person who cares about you. Others suffer with you, for you and beside you. There is no ocean of grief vast enough to combat the power of love. The love around you, the love in your heart and the love of the people watching over you from above—will always be strong enough to bring you back to shore. Your privacy matters to us. Share on Facebook. Share on Twitter. By Lexi Herrick.

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open letter to a friend who lost someone

Sign Up Your privacy matters to us. Next on To Save A Life.This article was inspired by a short email we received this morning from a new course student :. I feel like I have nothing left to work with.

Do you have any wisdom you could share? Once upon a time there was a woman in her mid sixties who noticed that she had lived her entire life in the same small town. And although she had spent decades enthusiastically dreaming about traveling and seeing the world, she had never taken a single step to make this dream a reality.

Finally, she woke up on the morning of her 65th birthday and decided that now was the time! She sold all of her possessions except for some essential items she needed, packed these items into a backpack, and began her journey out into the world. The first several days on the road were amazing and filled with awe — with every step forward she felt like she was finally living the life she had dreamed.

Gone Too Soon: An Open Letter to the Friend I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye To

But a few short weeks later, the days on the road started taking a toll on her. She felt misplaced and she missed the familiar comforts of her old life. As her feet and legs grew more and more sore with each new step, her mood also took a turn for the worse.

Eventually she stopped walking, took off her backpack, slammed it on the ground, and sat down beside it as tears began streaming down her cheeks. She stared hopelessly down a long winding road that once led to an amazing world, but now seemed to lead only to discomfort and unhappiness. I have nothing left in my life!

Coincidentally, a renowned guru and life adviser from a nearby village was resting quietly behind a pine tree adjacent to where the woman was sitting.

When the woman began shouting, the guru heard every word and he felt it was his duty to help her. Without thinking twice he jumped out from behind the pine tree, grabbed her backpack, and ran into the forest that lined both sides of the road.

Stunned and in complete disbelief, the woman started crying even harder than before, to the point of near breathlessness. Now everything is gone in my life!

A brief letter to those long-lost friends who still matter

After about ten minutes of much-needed tears, the woman gradually collected her emotions, stood up again and began staggering slowly down the road. Meanwhile the guru cut through the forest and secretly placed the backpack in the middle of the road just a short distance ahead of the woman. As we journey through our personal and professional lives, there will inevitably be periods of incredible frustration and despair.

But just like the woman who stumbled across the guru, we are all holding with us a backpack of support that comes in many forms — it can be a simple email or text message from someone we respect, inspiring blog posts, insightful bookshelpful neighbors, and so much more. Be mindful. Be present. One small step at a time. Photo by: Patty Maher. Thank you for your great words that keep on inspiring me. I love reading your blogs, they give me hope that tomorrow will be better.

Thank you. Can you truly be my source of inspiration and motivation? Good morning Marc and Angel I have just read the story of the old lady who thought she had lost everything. It has put a strain on our relationship, but that story had reminded me that I would rather have all the work stresses and strains that not have them in our lives, so thank you for reeling me back in and thinking of them rather than me.

How blessed am I to appreciate what we have? Thanks so much great reminder, I stumbled upon your website and love this post. I presently on journey that sometimes can be discouraging at times. But most times I find encouragement in the things people have spoken in my life and also looking back from where I am coming from.

Looking does it for me, because it allows me see the progress I have made, though at times it looks like nothing is happening.You hurt me in a way I never thought possible. Now instead of remembering you as my other half, I just think of you as the best friend who broke my heart. I never know when one of them might betray me like you did. I only wish you were here right now, so I could talk to you in person and maybe understand things better.

Everything seemed to be going so well. In retrospect, I guess the breakup signs were obvious. I wish I understood. What did I do that was so wrong? You asked me a question and I answered it honestly. For years, everything was great and suddenly, it was like you hated me. I wish you could help me understand. I thought you were my soulmate.

We were inseparable.

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Was it all just a lie? Why did you have to lie? I realize you had made a few new friends.

What To Say (and Not Say) When Someone Dies or Suffers a Tragedy

I only wanted to be there for you. We were both going through changes in our lives. I only wanted to be there for you and thought you wanted to do the same for me. The final time I was there for you seemed to be the breaking point. Why would you choose friends who made fun of you over me? Do you even care what you did? I think it might have made a little difference if I knew you cared or had any regrets. Do you ever miss me at all? Did you ever miss having me there or have I even crossed your mind since then?Hey there.

You made a couple efforts at the beginning but then you just disappeared. You let a lot of time pass without calling or texting or emailing or visiting. I see this awkward-cycle continuing and, as much I want you to be the one to break it, I realize it is probably easier if I do it. So here I am, doing it. I am declaring an amnesty for all past weird, avoidant, awkward behavior. I am viewing this as a chance to pick our friendship up, dust it off, and see if we might just get back on track.

So if you can forgive me for some stuff I can forgive you for some stuff. I am hoping if we talk about them it may make things just a wee bit easier. First, you will probably ask me to do things we used to do on three or five or ten different occasions and I will say no every time and get a little annoyed that you keep asking me to do things. I realize this seems irrational, but grief-brain can be a little irrational. So if you promise to ask me if it is okay to keep asking me to do stuff, I promise to tell you the truth and to try to find the motivation to text you if the whim to do something hits me.

Frustrating, I know. I promise that will be a pretty safe place to start. I will be tempted to silently stew, hold it against you, or think it means you are a bad friend. I promise to try to remember that it is hard for you to know what to say or do. I may get a little aggravated and judgy sometimes when you seem consumed by things that now feel totally unimportant to me. On special days like holidays and birthdays and anniversaries, I will probably be feeling especially low.

So go ahead, set a reminder in your phone. Right now. Heck, I barely knew what I needed. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts. Defending my grief has added more pain to my grief.

open letter to a friend who lost someone

Other than losing my brother, one of the hardest parts about grief is talking to people who never suffered lost before. I had a lot of people not contact me when my little brother died and in order to heal and move forward I just chose to kick them out of my life completely. I see no point of keeping these people in my life. How do these unsupportive people expect to me react when I see them for the first time? Like nothing happened? Hug them with open arms like everything is okay.

Just putting me in an awkward moment. Good riddance.We understand that everyone in the IHC community is concerned about the new coronavirus. Learn more about how to limit your exposure. Find Someone. Browse Resources. Dear Cancer. Get Inspired. New to IHC? Sign Up today. To all of the friends, family and loved ones of someone with cancer: we know how you feel. We understand the sharp pain in your gut, as you are consumed by agony and overwhelmed by a complete loss of control But it is you who has to watch your loved one go through it.

It may be a different set of emotions but those emotions are very valid and need to be talked about. So when we found this open letter on Redditwe had to share it.

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It hits the nail right on the head -encompassing that unique position of loving someone and hating the disease in their body, but knowing that the two are now inseparable. This particular post deeply spoke to us because of its striking balance between anonymity and a kind of suffering we, uniquely, can immediately recognize. It speaks to both the individual and the community affected by cancer, and for that reason we're happy to share it with you.

What are some of the feelings you went through if you loved someone who was fighting cancer?

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Share in the comments below or sign up here. Photo courtesy of Aily Torres. Sign up to join our community here to continue the conversation. Want to blog with us?

Learn more here. No Evidence of Disease Or a Relationship Single After Cancer. Skip to main content. Or with your username: Log in. Keep me logged in. Or with your e-mail:.

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I see your strength and I see your sorrow. I see your stomach churn with hope and worry as you continue your days at work, at school, wondering how to prepare for the crippling unknown. And you don't have it.

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It's not yours to analyze or gauge. You love a person, and that person has it, and sometimes it feels like it has them. And here you sit, reading these words, while they and it live and breathe.

open letter to a friend who lost someone

And for how long? I see you.I think about you every day as I see your picture on my dashboard. I think about you more now this time of the year. Sometimes I wonder if we would still be as close? It breaks my heart because that night plays on replay in my head. The images Hollywood once brought to life on the big screen became reality. I wonder why you were the one who was chosen. It made me realize at any moment that it can be any of us, at any time.

We should value life the way you did.

An Open Letter to The Friend I Lost Too Young

We should live as freely as the way you did. We should appreciate it as you would. Yet all of us find ourselves complaining about minuscule things day in and day out. Sometimes I wonder if you silently scream at our stupidity because of the things we have yet to learn, that you already have.

The only thing I seem to have faith in is you. I pray to you. I ask you for things. But this monologue of conversation I have, makes me wish I could hear your voice in something more than a memory. Is it nice that everyone gets to remember you young and beautiful? I can feel you with me when our song plays.

I can feel you with me when the wind blows on a beautiful day. And with that, I say I look forward to the day we meet again my sweetest angel. In love. In life. In the journey that never ends. A Walk to Remember. Menu Search Search for: Search. Enjoy And Share.I almost lost you.

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I almost lost my other half. I hate to see you cry and I hate to see you in pain. Since that moment, I have taken every opportunity to tell the people I love that I love them. Thank you for scaring the living hell out of me to make me realize that bad news never has good timing, and to realize that I often take life for granted.

Thank you for being brave, for battling your mind and overcoming your demons. I know that life is tough, and I know that sometimes our minds can be too heavy on our shoulders. But I want you to know that without you, I would be empty. Without you, friend, I would not be where I am today. I wanted you to know that without you, I would not have a support system. I would not have somebody to be proud of me.

When you first became my friend, I was so eager. I finally had someone I really connected with. No matter what we were doing, we had a blast.

An Open Letter to My Best Friend Who Lost a Loved One

We made so many memories driving around in my car, singing along to our favorite songs. I want you to know that you are ridiculously important to me. I want you to know that you have given me a reason to keep going. When my problems become too much, and the voices in my head are too loud, I have to remember that you are here— that you made it through this, so I have to, too.

Subscribe to our Newsletter Thank you for signing up! Check your inbox for the latest from Odyssey. This is not a valid email, please try again. Friend, please, know now that no matter how hard it gets, I am still here.

No matter what time it is, where I am, what I am doing, I will be your rock. You are my hero, and now I want to be yours. For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households.

Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere. Honey has been a staple in my Ayurvedic skincare routine since I was a kid and my grandmother used to make me homemade paste-like face masks by mixing chickpea flour, turmeric, honey, and yogurt together. I now use honey head to toe — on my hair to make it extra shiny, on my face for its natural smoothing and anti-bacterial properties, and the rest of my body for its extreme textural and brightening benefits.

Some people even use it on their armpits for honey's lightening effect on the skin.

open letter to a friend who lost someone

I first started seeing a dietitian in late At the time, I was the heaviest I've ever been at about lbs. At the first appointment, my dietitian asked me to record what I ate in a food diary so she could better understand my habits and give me better direction in changing my lifestyle.

I did exactly that and returned a week later, diary in hand. After a cursory glance at the pages, she first remarked at how few fruits and vegetables I ate.